Shrimp Hotel

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/titlevideo.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="The image has the title of “Shrimp Hotel”. On the left side is a older man dressed in a suit sitting at a desk in his office. On the right side is a young woman in a red waistcoat and tie holding a pair of tongs behind a table with breakfast service items. They both have animated expressions of surprise on their face."> </video> (align:"<==")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===========================")[ Rhi Petersen - Concept and Writing Michelle Aitken - Concept Development Dan Grant - Illustration] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[=You wake up in the body of the General Manager of the hotel you work at, after eating some dodgy seafood at a function last night. What should you do? Give everyone a raise? Find dirt to blackmail your boss with? Buy a hot tub? Update the company policy on hazard pay? And what will you discover along the way? //Shrimp Hotel //is an interactive body-swap fiction which inverses the premise of the reality tv show //Undercover Boss.// ''[[[PLAY->Begin.]]]'' This work is recommended for 16+ audiences. Click [[here]] to read the content warnings. This is the first iteration of this work, it is a work in progress. There will be a place to leave feedback at the end. [[(What is this?)]] We acknowledge the Bibbulmun people as the Traditional Owners of the land on which the City stands today, and from where this work was created. We pay our respects to the Whadjuk people, and Elders both past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded. This project is supported by the City of Melville’s Community Grants Project. |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= This is a interactive fiction work (think choose-your-own-adventure books but online) which we are currently developing. You are our first test audience. Welcome! This project is supported by the City of Melville’s Community Grants Project. (Thank you!)

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/titlevideo.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt=""> </video> (align:"<==")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===========================")[ ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= text here

(align:"=><=")+(box:"======XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX====")[ Who do you want to be? [[WORKER->wakeup1]] [[BOSS->wakeup1]] ]

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/office.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="An older man dressed in a suit is sitting at a desk in his office. He has an animated expression of surprise on his face."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= Good morning. It appears that you have woken up in the body of Terry Franklin, the General Manager of the hotel you work at. Yikes. The last thing you remember is vomiting into the bougainvillea bush near the loading dock. You were trying to get canapé bingo by eating one of each of the different types of canapés being served at the function you were working at. You think the last thing you ate was a smoked tandoori prawn served on a cucumber slice. It was delicious. You had just assumed that the seafood was a bit off, or that you had a stomach bug or something. But now here you are, in the body of an old man, who also, coincidentally, happens to be your boss. [[What the actual fuck?]] |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You're in an office. There is a half eaten shrimp cocktail on the desk. You’re wearing a crumpled suit. You feel like shit. You look at your face in the reflective surface of the computer screen. A wrinkly face looks back at you. How about you [[take fifteen]] to freak out a bit.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Okay, now whatever you do, don’t start to think about the logistics of being inside an old man’s body, don’t start to think about his papery skin, or his saggy old man junk, or the piece of fish stuck between his molars, and definitely don’t think about how the fuck you ended up here and whatever science fiction mumbo jumbo bullshit is the reason that your brain? soul? is here in this body, and what do you even know about body swaps, the only reference point you have is from movies, and like all you can remember from Freaky Friday is that there was a kinda racist mystical fortune cookie trope, and that Lindsey Lohan in Jamie Lee Curtis’ body went on a shopping spree and flirted with her high school love interest, and holy shit you think you’re maybe having a panic attack which actually feels pretty justified right now / [[(Okay that’s enough of that).]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= There’s a knock at the door. [[The door opens.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= A whirlwind of a woman enters the room. She looks familiar. You squint trying to read her name badge - Janie? She starts to talk at you - "Morning Terry! How are you on this jolly morn? Can I get you anything, want a coffee, just brewed a fresh pot. Why - why do you look like that Terry, not to be rude, but you look like re-constituted dog doo doo - you should change before your meeting with Doug - i’ll - i’ll call Linda, tell her to delay Doug by fifteen - ooo do you want a Caramello Koala? My daughter is selling them to fundraise money for children in Sudan, just three dollars a koala -" She must see something in your eyes, because she stops monologuing long enough for you to ask her to give you a moment. She nods, and says, "I’ll - I'll go get you a coffee." [[She exits.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You put on a clean suit, and give yourself a pep talk. If you’re going to meet with Doug, you need to pretend to be Terry. Okay, think General Manager thoughts. The problem is you're not too sure what a General Manager actually does. You whisper some affirmations to yourself. I am confident and capable. I am worthy of love and success. I am the boss. I am the boot that steps on the bug. You don’t know Terry. You occasionally saw him on the floor talking to your managers, but you never interacted with him directly. You practice a few mannerisms and saying [[hello]] a few times.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Maybe you don’t have to meet with Doug. What’s stopping you from walking away, from getting out of here? You think about your options. You could [[pretend to be Terry]] and meet with Doug while you try and figure out what the fuck is going on. You could go and try and [[find your body]], in case that’s where Terry has ended up? You could take this opportunity to use your newfound identity and bank account and [[go on a nice day trip]]? Or surely you could use your position to try to [[help your co-workers]] (and yourself)?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= There is a knock at the door, and a tall man in a slim fitting suit enters. He greets you, shaking your hand, and saying, "Terry! Finally in the same room - how's it all going at the big shrimpy?" He must work for the hospitality group that the hotel is part of. He briefly talks about the weather before starting his pitch - "Let’s get down to brass tax, shall we? We have a brilliant opportunity for our senior employees across our network to invest in the company before The Group's expansion plan really blows up in a public way. A chance for our valued employees to get in on the action. We’ve got employee convertibles on offer, at a ten percent discount. There is really nothing as secure and profitable as investing in our employee convertibles, especially when you know the company’s about to skyrocket! It’s completely up to you how much you want to invest - fifty, a hundred, two hundred thousand - though of course, the more money you invest the more money you make. Terry - in two years time you could have a holiday villa in the Maldives, or Hakone if that’s more your speed. Konichiwa, my friend. So I’ll put you down for a share?" Are you convinced by this? Do you want to [[buy the convertibles?]] Or do you [[reject his offer?]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You exit your office and head down the stairs. You’re not super familiar with this section of the hotel. Most of the back of house areas are in the basement level, which is where your body should be, assuming that you turned up for work today. You go down as far as you can go and [[exit the stairwell]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Janie comes back with a coffee. You ask her to cancel your meeting with Doug. She splutters - "Terry - you can’t do that - he’s an important man, you can’t just -" You tell her to make up an excuse, to tell him that your wife’s sick or something. She starts to protest. "But -" Do it, you say. She bobs her head, and turns around. As she is leaving you hear her whisper, "I wanted to sell him some Caramello Koalas." [[Okay, where to begin?]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You head to staff parking. Terry has a reserved bay, so it’s easy to find his vehicle. You unlock it and hop in. Terry’s phone auto connects to the car stereo and a [[podcast]] starts to play. It's some right wing finance bro bullshit. You put on some Le Tigre, don Terry’s sunnies, open the sunroof, and screech out of the car park. The shrimpy is in your rearview mirror, time autonomy is in your pocket, and the city is your oyster. Would you like to go for a bit of [[pampering]]? A small [[shopping spree]]? Or visit an [[animal shelter]] and pat all the animals?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= "It all comes back to the laziness of this current generation - no one wants to work for it anymore, everyone wants to be handed everything on a silver platter, we’re raising a generation of beta soy boy cucks, stuck in poverty because they’re scared to grab life by the balls and fucking take what they’re owed. Birth rates are declining, veganism is on the rise -"

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You go to a luxury spa complex and book in for a seaweed wrap and a full body massage. You ask for some cucumber slices for your eyes. Terry really has some tension he needs worked out. You are so relaxed that you drift into a [[deep sleep.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You drive to the industrial shopping area and go to a shop called Mega Spas. You pick out a thermowood hot tub with five different bubble settings. You have almost finished filling out the paperwork when you realise that you probably can’t get the hot tub through the door of your apartment complex, let alone onto your two by one balcony. You call your mum to see if she wants a hot tub in her back yard? She chides you, "Jessie, honey, weren’t you saying the other day that you were stressed about paying off your credit card? Why would you buy a hot tub? And why does your voice sound like that?" You make a mental note to pay off your credit card debt with Terry’s money, and buy the tub anyway. You think it’ll be good for her arthritis. Shall you continue [[shopping]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You dream that you are in the body of a shrimp adrift in the warm water of the Indian Ocean. The current is gentle, and you feel at peace. Bright green and pink seaweed grows from the rocky outcrop you are situated in. The sun is warm and bright, as it breaks through the surface of the water. A school of shiny silver fish swim by. You wonder what type of fish they are. You are safe. You nibble on some algae. It’s delicious / You [[are awoken]] by the masseuse aggressively jabbing you calves.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You contemplate staying at the spa indefinitely. Though at some point Terry’s money might run out, or you might have to deal with the whole body-swap situation. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->shopping spree]]? Go get a [[haircut]]? Visit the [[animal rescue->animal shelter]]? Or head [[back to the hotel]] to try figure out what the hell is going on.

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/hair.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="An older man is sitting in a chair at the hairdresser looking in the mirror. There are identical twin hairdressers standing on either side of him. They are both dressed in black shirts with white collars, with fishnets on their arms. Their hair is up in a pony tail, and they are wearing big red hoop earrings. One of them pours the man tea."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= You drive to Les Cheveux, an upmarket hairdresser that you follow on instagram that specialises in alternative hairstyles for the rebellious children of the wealthy. The haircuts are genuinely excellent though. The boutique is run by Goth identical twins. They look at you oddly when you enter the shop. When you ask if you can get a haircut, they shrug and say in unison, "We’ve had a cancellation." As you sit in the chair and look at yourself in the mirror, you realise that this was a silly idea. You had been wanting to try this salon, however, Terry doesn't have a lot of hair left. The twins set to work. One of them starts to quiz you, "What do you do for work, what’s your favourite hobby, are you married?" You answer the questions as best you can. She says, "I’m getting very conflicting energy - what’s your star sign? No let me guess - are you a Gemini?" They finish the haircut. It’s a similar style, just neater, more refined. They show you how to gel it up in a Keith Flint inspired look - "If you’re ever feeling spicy." Then their eyes roll back in their heads and they start to speak in unison - "Two humans, both alike in dignity, at The Shrimp Hotel, where we lay our scene, from seafood grudge to new mutiny, where uninitiated blood makes wineglasses unclean. From forth the fatal hire of these two foes a pair of unlikely conspirators cause strife; whose misadventures seemingly overthrow and do their damndest to cause lots of strife." You ask them, is that Shakespeare? They look at you and ask, "What?" You say the riddle you just told me. They seem puzzled. You pay them and exit the shop, they wave goodbye. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->shopping spree]]? Visit the [[animal rescue->animal shelter]]? Or head [[back to the hotel]]. |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You head to a rescue on the outskirts of town. You’ve seen them advertised on instagram - part of their business model is letting kids pat farm animals. It’s a glorious day. The sun is shining. You buy a strawberry ice cream that they make in house. You meet a goose named Gilbert and a chicken named Brussel Sprout. There are twin cats who are both named Wilbur. You spend a long time playing frisbee with a horse. You wish you could live on a hobby farm with a collection of odd pets. You buy a calendar with photos of all the animals in it, and leave a generous donation. Thank you Terry. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->shopping spree]]? Get [[a massage->pampering]]? Or go [[back to the hotel]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= As you drive back to the hotel you start to wonder why you’re even going back there. You’re dreading having to deal with the mess you’ve found yourself in. You could just not go back? No, [[return to the hotel->20C]]. Yes, [[get out of here]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= The office is decorated in the style of the rest of the hotel, with an aquamarine colour palette with pale pink accents. There is a computer monitor on the desk, along with a landline, [[a stack of papers]], and [[a half eaten shrimp cocktail]]. Gross. There is a photo of the hotel on the wall, and an oil painting of some old guy. The landline starts to ring. Do you [[pick it up->pick it up C]]? Or leave it to [[ring out.->ring out C]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You could quit your job. Live your life in Terry’s body. Go on a cruise or bus tour in Europe. Slowly eat your way through Terry’s savings, until you have to find another job somewhere as a sixty something year old with no references. Never to discover how or why the body swap happened and what all of this is about. You’re probably going to need a knee replacement in three years. But at least you’ll be working as a porter in Morocco. Go [[back to the hotel->20C]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You drive to the fashion district and buy yourself three pairs of Louis Vuittons. The sales lady tries to crack a joke - "You must be in trouble!" You grin sheepishly at her as you tap Terry’s card. Back in the car you slip a pair of the heels onto your feet. They don’t fit Terry properly, however they will fit your feet. Not that you have anywhere to wear them. But damn, the extravagance feels good. You day dream about being the kind of person who would wear these shoes. The parties they would go to, the clothes they would wear, the people they would know. Then you realise the type of person who would wear these shoes is part of the demographic of people you serve at the hotel. And to be honest, they’re snobby and they don’t look like they know how to have fun. Do you want to go [[get pampered->pampering]]? Or visit the [[animal shelter]]? Or go [[back to the hotel]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Doug grabs your hand and shakes it vigorously, beaming at you with giant pearly teeth. He tells you - ""You won’t regret this! Your days of working at the hotel are numbered because you're going to be a rich man!" You ask him if he can put the shares in your god-daughter's name. He nods, "Bit unconventional, but don’t see why not? Send the deets over to Linda." He leaves. You’re pretty sure he thinks this is a tax invasion thing, which suits you just fine. You’re not confident investing was a good choice. But hey, it’s Terry’s money, not yours. Best type of money to spend on questionable company stock options. You’re feeling pretty good about this pretending to be the boss thing. You don’t think anyone has noticed yet. You [[look around the office->20E]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Doug pouts at you and invites you to play golf with him and his buddies - "It’ll be fun! And I can tell you more about the offer?" Do you want to [[play golf]] with Doug? Or do you [[make up an excuse?]]

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/golf.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="Terry's body and Doug stand in the foreground at a golf course. Doug has his arm wrapped around Terry and is telling him something. Doug has blonde hair and is wearing a visor and a puffer vest. Terry's body looks unconvinced at whatever Doug is saying. They are both holding beers. In the the background there are two other guys and a golf cart. They look like they are having a good time."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= Turns out you suck at golf. However, as “playing golf” turns out to be mainly about ripping bongs and drinking european beer with Doug’s finance friends, it doesn’t really matter that you can’t hit the ball straight. The sun is shining. It’s fun. Todd, one of the finance bros, has started to pontificate about conceptual art. [[(Do you want to listen to him?)]] Doug is still trying to convince you to buy the shares - "Terry, my man, what’s stopping you? This could be your life!" You’re starting to feel kinda woozy - it doesn’t seem like Terry has much of a tolerance. You mutter something about going to the bathroom and stagger away from the group. Do you hop into one of the golf carts and [[head back to the club]]? Or go [[find a nice shrub]] to lie under for a moment. |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You tell him that you’re really swamped today, that you can’t get out of work, and thank him for the invitation. Doug doesn’t look happy. As he leaves, he turns to you and says, "Gotta say Terry, didn’t peg you as spineless. The offer’s open but only for twenty four hours. You change your mind, you can call Linda." He [[slams the door.->20B]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= "Bro… conceptual art… is like, de-centered blockchain tech... the value is in the ideas, the intellectual property, the ownership of that…it relies more on the idea than the physical reality…don’t get me wrong bro, I dig the old stuff too…give me an oil painting of a voluptuous peasant woman any day of the week, damn… those dudes though, they were all so sad, so poor, so castrated…. You know? Oof. But if you can dematerialise art… and if you hype it up properly… you could make some big money with it…" [[(Okay none of us are getting any smarter here.)->play golf]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= On the way back to the club you accidentally drive the golf cart into a small pond. Whoops. A duck quacks at you in distaste. Doug staggers over to you - "What the fuck Terry? That’s booked on my membership, how do you crash a twenty kilomentre limit fucking child’s toy -" Shit. You guess you could try and [[reverse it out]] of the mud? Or… you could just [[leg it]] back to the clubroom?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You lie down under a particularly nice looking hibiscus tree. As you are lying there you can hear Doug’s voice carrying towards you in the wind. He’s bragging about company acquisitions, saying something about the tactics they use to get other companies to do what they want. You fall asleep. You dream that you have body swapped with a Chicken Caesar Salad Tortilla Cup, and that someone eats you. You have a Ms Frizzle style adventure through the human esophagus. You awake with the sun in your eyes, feeling groggy, but a little better. You can’t see the guys anywhere. You reckon it’s time to get [[back to the office]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Doug accelerates while you and the bros try and push the cart up the bank. It takes a few tries but you get the cart un-stuck. In the process you get covered in mud. Doug turns to you, and says - "You fucking owe me Terry." He smiles, displaying his giant tombstone teeth, and whacks you on the arm. You think now it's time to go [[back to the office]] now.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You scamper in the direction of the clubroom. You hear Doug bellowing after you - "Terrrryyyyy! Get the fuck back here -" You continue to [[the club->back to the office]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You get an Uber from the club. The driver looks at you disapprovingly. You do look quite disheveled. As the Uber pulls out from the carpark you notice a car pull out behind you. It’s a twenty minute ride back to the hotel and the driver has decided to chat - "Hey man, you hear about what’s going on in the government? I was listening to this podcast, and you know what it was saying? That we’re being ruled by aliens! Anthony Albanese is a reptilian. Penny Wong? Reptilian. They’ve been snuck in here to disrupt the government, to push all this weird lefty shit. Makes a lot of sense, yeah? Why else would you think such cooked stuff. They wanna let in more immigrants? It’s cause they’re immigrants! You’d think they would choose a country with a bit more power though. It’s why they’re such suck ups to Trump, he’s also a reptilian, but a more powerful one. Wish I could get me hands on a shotgun, bam bam, I’d whack them for ya." The car is still following you. A white camry sedan. It follows you all the way back to the hotel. You arrive at the hotel and head [[back to your office->20B]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You spin around on your wheely chair and tap on the keyboard to wake up Terry’s computer. What could you actually do to help your friends… You could [[raise everyone’s wages]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Terry has biometrics set up so the mere sight of your face logs you into his computer. You look through his email to find the number for the hotel’s Finance Officer, Nancy. You call her and outline what you want to happen. She cackles and says, "Terry, next year's budget has already been approved. Where is this coming from? Besides we pay award rate, what you want pay more than that? Even if I wanted to, how do you suppose I get that approved by the board, and The Group?" You push back, you tell her that the staff can’t afford rent, they can’t afford to support their families, that the cost of living has massively out flanked wages. All while the hotel records massive profits. "When did you become such a socialist? I mean us and everyone else - don't be so naive Terry, this is the way it’s always worked. But fine - I'll put together a new budget, with your proposed pay increases, and you can do what you want with it. But Terry, you won’t have a hope of getting it approved. I don’t know how you think it’s going to be a sustainable option." You thank her, and hang up. Okay, so maybe a slightly longer term project. What else could you do? You could [[increase the amount of permanent positions]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You flick an email off to Nancy and the Head of HR. You don’t want to call Nancy again just for her to laugh at you and call you a social justice warrior. The Head of HR responds promptly - "Hi! Thanks for your email. Please refer to The Group’s Casual Employment Policy to find our guidelines for transitioning employees from casual to full-time employment. The Group has followed all relevant legislation in creating this policy. Hope that helps! :)" Okay. You guess you could read that and report back what you find. Most of the casuals you work with are probably only vaguely aware of their employment rights. I mean, your grasp on them is pretty shaky, so you can bet some of the others feel the same way. What else? You could [[promote some people]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You try to think of who would actually like to be promoted. Rosa would be great, but you're not sure she’d enjoy being a supervisor. She kinda likes doing her own thing. Jimmy would love it. But he is an eighteen year old twerp who doesn’t know what he’s doing. There is an oil painting of an old man hanging on the wall of the office. You stare at him as you try and think of ways to help your friends. He looks a bit like Terry. He stares back at you, his eyes boring into your soul. You feel so aware that you are dreaming from within the system, from within the gilded cage. You [[don’t know how to escape->20D]].

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/fish.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="Terry’s body stands in the doorway looking at tanks of sea creatures. The water reflects on the wall."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= You find yourself in a dimly lit room filled with giant aquariums. They glow softly with the artificial tank lighting. An exquisite array of sea creatures float before you - fish, crayfish, an octopus, sea urchins, star fish. It’s beautiful. They look so peaceful. The underwater plants are so colourful. You hear a noise in the distance. Shit, maybe you're not alone down here. Do you want to [[sneak back up]] the stairs? Or [[go closer]] to the noise? Curiosity killed the cat, but you are a Food and Beverage Attendant in your boss's body. |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= As quietly as you can, you turn around and head back to the stairwell. You retreat back up the stairs. Your adrenaline is going crazy. What was that place? It’s like nothing you’ve seen before at the hotel. There must be levels only accessible from certain stairwells. You wonder what it’s for… It looked like a science lab. Though it could be for the fresh seafood, you guess. You consider what to do next. Should you [[go back to Terry’s office?]]? Or [[keep trying to find your body?]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You creep closer to the noise. Beside you is a tank of yellow and black angel fish. You pause to admire them. A man’s face appears on the other side of the tank. He has glasses and scraggly black eyebrows, and he looks angry. He starts to yell - "Hey! Who are you? You can’t be down here! It’s off limits! Get! Get out of here!" He starts to mutter about emergency exits and safety protocols. You think you’ll [[leave now->sneak back up]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You peek out from the stairwell. There is a man lurking by the watercooler. He is wearing a black long sleeved shirt, a cap pulled low, and steel cap boots. He turns his face from you as you walk past. You turn down the hallway and duck into the [[nearest bathroom]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wonder who that guy was. You don’t think you’ve seen him before, and he isn’t dressed in a way that suggests he works at the hotel. You catch your reflection in the mirror. You force yourself not to stop. You go into a cubicle to relieve yourself. As much as you're doing your very best to avoid thinking about your alternate corporal form, and spiralling into an all consuming panic attack, you’ve got to admit - being able to pee standing up is pretty great. You exit the cubicle, and run into the woman from your office earlier, Janie, who starts to shriek at you - "Terry, this is the woman's bathroom!" Oh shit, you must have entered the female bathroom out of habit. She continues, "You scared the bejesus out of me! Good lordy /" You mutter an apology, and go to exit. She calls after you - "Terry! You're supposed to be meeting with Doug!" You [[close the door]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Okay. You’ve got to find your body. The hallway is clear. You notice a surveillance camera in a corner section of the ceiling. You knew there was surveillance in the public areas of the hotel, but you didn’t realise that back of house sections were monitored too… Which route should you take? You could go through [[the guest area]] of the hotel floor - you’d be less likely to run into people Terry knows. Or… seeing the security camera has given you an idea… you could [[go talk to the Head of Security]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You use the elevator to go up to Level 3, a floor largely consisting of mid-level suites. The floor appears to be empty. You head towards the north wing. As you turn the corner you see two people in the distance. Shit. You duck back behind the corner. You’re pretty sure they’re two execs from The Group, the organisation who owns the hotel. You don’t know exactly what they do, but you’ve seen them schmoozing at functions before. Do you think you can get away with [[minimal interaction]]? Or maybe you should [[go hide]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You knock on the door of Paul, the Head of Security. He is a very calm man. You exchange pleasantries and he asks, "What can I do for you today Terry?" You ask if he happens to have any security footage of your office, or the function room, from around 9pm last night. He stares at you for a moment. He tells you - "Yes, I have footage of the function room, but the office wing is not currently surveilled. I’ve been waiting for you to approve the budget for security upgrades for that section of the building." He smiles. "If you want footage from your office, I’d suggest you approve the budget." He shows you the footage from the function room last night. You see yourself staggering out of the room, looking unwell. He shows you footage of you vomiting out at the loading dock. You don’t really learn anything new. You thank him, and [[return to your quest->the guest area]] to find your body.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You give them a polite smile as they approach. The man beams at you, and reaches out to shake your hand. He says, "Terry! How’s your day going? You’re doing a great job." He winks at you, and they continue on their way. When you are nearly out of earshot, you hear the woman say, in a teasing tone, "We’ve got to be more discreet than this darling /" You hurry [[down the hall]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You knock on the door of a suite, then tap your master key-card and peer inside. Looks empty. You enter the suite. It looks ready for guest check-in. You sit on the bed and eat a kit-kat from the minibar. You’re halfway through your treat when you hear someone fiddling at the door. Do you [[hide in the closet]]? Or [[pretend to be doing a task]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You continue to the north wing. You feel like you're being watched, yet the hallway is empty. You enter the north stairwell, and start to descend. You hear a door above you open, and someone else enter the stairwell. You duck out through the closet exit. You are on Level 1, which is home to the hotel’s fitness centre. You walk down the hallway till you arrive at [[the aquatic centre]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You open the closet and awkwardly squeeze inside. This sort of maneuvering is a lot harder in the body of a sixty year old. You hear them talking in soft teasing voices, they seem excited about some media deal the company’s just closed. Oh god are they starting to make out? Well, it makes sense, why else would they be in a company hotel room in the middle of the day. Oh god, is she going to peg him? While cerebrally you are happy for them, this entirely too much information to know about these people. You put your hands over your ears and try to remember the plot points of The Big Short. You consider if this knowledge is the sort of thing you could leverage. Eventually you hear them leave the hotel room. You grab a second kit-kat and [[exit the room]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You crouch down and pretend to be re-stocking the minibar. You stand up, and fake surprise as they enter, apologising and explaining that you were just replacing the refreshments. It’s the execs. The man beams at you, and reaches out to shake your hand. He says, "Terry! How’s your day going? You’re doing a great job." He winks at you. You thank him, and go to exit the room. As you are closing the door, you hear the woman say, in a teasing tone, "We’ve got to be more discreet than this darling /" You hurry [[down the hall]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= In the hallway, you pass Sara, who is one of the housekeepers. You ask her to make sure she cleans room 307. You [[continue on your way.->down the hall]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You can see a man dressed in all black, with a cap pulled low over his face, in the reflection of the glass walls. You walk past the spas, and towards the outdoor pool. Should you [[confront him]]? Or try to [[evade him.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You duck behind one of the massive palm trees that flank the pool. As the man steps in line with the tree, you step out and push him into the water. The man struggles, spluttering to the surface. He clumsily doggy paddles to the edge of the pool. He says - "Why the fuck did you do that?! Why did you push me into the pool?!" You look down at him. You ask him in a calm, even voice, why are you following me? He replies, "I’m not following you! Can you get me a towel?" You grab a white hotel towel off one of the lounge chairs and throw it at him. You repeat the question. "I’m not!" You press him - who do you work for? "I work for The Group! I’m an employee, just like you -" Again you ask him - why are you following me? "I swear, I’m not doing anything -" You’re not getting anywhere. You could [[threaten him.]] Or you could just [[leave]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You duck behind one of the massive palm trees that flank the pool. The man walks straight past you and continues on to the gym area. You double back out of the pool area, and [[put some distance->leave]] between you and the fitness centre.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You go into the gym and grab a kettlebell. It’s heavy, Terry needs to work out more. You go back out to the pool area. You squat down beside the man, and hold the weight over his hands. You whisper to him, what do you know? He pushes away from the wall, kicking and splashing to the middle of the pool. You didn’t really think about the fact that he’d be able to just swim away. The man yells - "I don’t know anything okay! Jesus! You psycho! I’m working for Mr Mitchell - I’ve been instructed to watch you! That’s all I know okay?! I don’t know anything!" The man is not a very good swimmer. You put the weight down, and [[leave him->leave]] struggling in the middle of the pool.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wander aimlessly around the hallways for a while, thinking about how strange your day has been. You don’t know what to do. This is a pretty unprecedented situation. In one of the hallways you come across an oil painting of a woman. She kind of looks like you. You’ve never seen this painting before - it seems out of place with the rest of the hotel’s art which is predominantly campy still lifes. Eventually you wander back to [[Terry's ofice->36]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You go back to Terry's office. You walk in to find Janie rifling through your desk drawers. She startles - "Terry! You’re back early - how - how’s it going /" You interrupt her, asking her what she’s doing. "Oh! Just, you know - you had some documents? That you wanted me to proofread? Just looking for them - you know me, always trying to be useful, don’t want to cause any fuss /" You can tell that she’s lying. You press her, what are you doing? She flusters - "Just organising your stuff Terry, like I always do - haha - nothing out of the normal here! Oh - I don’t know, you seem weird today, and the hotel seems weird, and who is that guy who’s been hanging around outside your office? And… Mr Mitchell stopped by earlier, asked me to keep an eye on you - I didn’t want to do it, but - you know, well, he’s your boss, so he’s my boss too! I haven’t said anything about anything, I promise! Oh - I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking -" Mr Mitchell… you're pretty sure he works for The Group, he’s maybe the Executive Manager of the Australiasian region? Yeah, you say to Janie, something is for sure up. You tell Janie to go get herself a fresh pressed juice. [[You close your eyes.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You look through the stack of papers on Terry’s desk. It looks like a bunch of different contracts with different companies and The Group, the company who owns the hotel. If you’ve interpreted the documents correctly, it seems as though The Group is looking to buy out a seafood company, a landscaping business, and a tv studio. You look in Terry’s top drawer, but there’s just some miscellaneous stationary, a waiter's friend, and a pack of peppermint gum. The bottom drawer is locked. Do you want to[[ look for the key]]? [[Pick the lock]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You look at the shrimp cocktail. Was this what Terry was eating when the swap happened? You were eating shrimp too. Weird. You examine it but it just looks like a normal shrimp cocktail. You put it in the bin.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= The phone rings out. Janie pokes her head around the door. She hisses, "Terry! Melissa's here to see you! Should I send her in? She’s literally outside the door. Also! I had the best idea! You should do the ceo sleepout this year! It’d be amazing PR for the hotel, it’d be so much fun! Anyway I’ll tell you about it later." She retreats behind the door, and [[a woman enters->a woman entersA]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You pick up the phone. "Hi Terry, it’s Janie, I have Melissa here for you, should I send her in? Also I had the best idea! You should do the ceo sleepout this year! It’d be amazing PR for the hotel, and it’d be so much fun! Anyway Melissa’s outside your door, we can talk about it later. Toodleoo!" It’s the voice of the woman who was in your office earlier. Janie. She must be Terry’s assistant. There is a knock at the door, and [[a woman enters->a woman entersA]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You look around the office, picking up random things in case the key is under them. You find it under the base of the computer monitor. You open the drawer. In it you find a bottle of schnapps and a printed copy of Terry’s employment contract. You look through it - parts are highlighted, sections to do with intellectual property, non-disclosure, and contract termination clauses.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You don’t know how to pick a lock. What do you think this is, a video game? You wiggle the end of a paper clip around in the lock to no avail.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= A tall willowy woman strides into the office. She greets you with a small smile. "Hi Terry. How are you, how’s the hotel? I’m here to go through the new communication guidelines for customer facing employees. Have you had a chance to go through the document that I sent you?" She hands you a document. You haven’t but you nod anyway. "In particular, I want to draw your attention to Section 3a., and 3b. which details prohibited vocabulary, and mandatory vocabulary, which is to be adopted by all service personnel when interacting with clients." You frown slightly. What? "This policy is being rolled out throughout The Group, though of course, we have added particular spice to hotels with specific, and in this case whimsical, branding. We have given everyone one month to implement the policy, by which time we expect full compliance. Do you have any questions?" Of course you do, but she plows on as if the question is rhetorical. "I’m required in my next meeting in ten. I’ll see you later. Just give me a call if you have any questions, yes?" You nod non-committally. She leaves your office. The landline rings again, do you [[pick it up?->30A]] Or leave it to [[ring out->31A]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You pick up the phone. "Terry, it’s just me!" By now you recognise Janie’s voice and general demeanor. "Have you had any lunch yet? Just reminding you, you have an appointment in half an hour with Dr Singh. Don’t be late, you know it’s mandatory - it’ll be in the same room as last time. Ooo - also - did you know that Wrasse, you know the type of fish, they can change sex - they do a little switcharoo if like there’s no men Warsse around - isn’t that weird? Little fun fact for your afternoon." [[She hangs up.->30.7A]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You take the phone off the hook. You scroll through Terry’s emails. You’ve received a new email from Nancy - the subject line is: Good Luck lol. "Hi Terry. New draft of next year's budget with the revisions you’ve asked for. Adds an approx. one million to operating costs. Welcome to present it. Better go locked and loaded. Nance." You open up the book-keeping app and scroll through the budget. It’s pretty interesting. You got two thirds of your way through an accounting degree before you couldn't afford it anymore and quit, so you actually kinda like numbers. You look through the budget's income section. Seems pretty standard. There is a sizable contribution by a group called Atë Research. You google them, but nothing specific comes up. Just a vague landing page website, and an AI summary telling you that Atë was the Greek goddess of mischief and ruin. Maybe the hotel’s a front. Also, it seems insane that the hotel spends a million dollars a year on seafood. You want to [[call your Mum->31D]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You take the phone off the hook, and call your Mum using Terry’s mobile. Your Mum picks up on the second call. "Are you okay honey? Your voice sounds strange, are you getting sick?" You mumble something about having a cold and work being really stressful at the moment and that you just wanted to chat about nothing if that was okay. "Of course! Remind me, I’ll drop over some multivitamins later, and some lemons - next door have a tree. Really thick peel but surprisingly juicy." You thank her, and say that that would be nice. "Well, whatever is going on over there, you know you will be fine. You are strong, intelligent, and resilient. I love you honey. Just say the word I’ll come and threaten them with my pruning sheers." You laugh. You feel a little better. There’s [[a knock at the door->30.5B]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You call your Mum using Terry’s mobile. Your Mum picks up on the second call. "Are you okay honey? Your voice sounds strange, are you getting sick?" You mumble something about having a cold and work being really stressful at the moment and that you just wanted to chat about nothing if that was okay. "Of course! Remind me, I’ll drop over some multivitamins later, and some lemons - next door have a tree. Really thick peel but surprisingly juicy." You thank her, and say that that would be nice. "Well, whatever is going on over there, you know you will be fine. You are strong, intelligent, and resilient. I love you honey. Just say the word I’ll come and threaten them with my pruning sheers." You laugh. You feel a little better. There’s [[a knock at the door->30.5D]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Janie pokes her head around the door. She says, "Couldn't get you on the line - wanted to check - have you had any lunch yet? And just reminding you, you have an appointment in half an hour with Dr Singh. Don’t be late, you know it’s mandatory - it’ll be in the same room as last time. Ooo - also - did you know that Wrasse, you know the type of fish, they can change sex - they do a little switcharoo if like there’s no men Warsse around - isn’t that weird? Little fun fact for your afternoon. [[She leaves->30.7A]], whistling a little tune.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You pick up the phone. Janie’s on the line. She tells you, "Terry, I’ve got your wife, I’ll put her through?" Holy shit. Terry’s wife?! Sure, you say, patch her through. "Hi love, I’ve been calling your mobile, why haven’t you picked up, have you lost it again?" You look at Terry’s phone. There’s eight missed calls. You make up some excuse about accidentally leaving it on silent. "Well, I’m calling because, you know I don't usually call you at work, you’ve got a very important job and I respect that, but, um - have you been moving our money around? Because I logged into our joint savings account - I just wanted to double check I was on track to earn the bonus interest this month - and there is a transaction debiting two hundred thousand dollars from our account - and I thought that can’t be right! That cannot be right. So, I’m calling you? I don’t know what to do!" Oh shit. The stocks you brought from Doug. DIdn’t realise the transaction would go through so soon. You try to console her, you tell her you had an excellent investment opportunity, that you're going to double your initial investment, that it’s practically guaranteed. You parrot Doug’s line about buying a holiday house in Japan. "Love, that’s our retirement savings and you just invested it without even consulting me? I don’t even know what to say right now, how could you do that? How could you do that!" You tell her that you’ll talk to her later, you’ll explain everything. "Terry, wait, we have to talk about this /" You hang up on her. You want to [[call your Mum->31E]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Do you want to [[keep pretending to be Terry->33]], and go see the psychiatrist? Do you want to get out of here, and go and [[do some nice activities->8A]]. Or maybe it’s time to go and [[try to find your body->the guest area]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Do you want to [[keep pretending to be Terry->33]], and go see the psychiatrist? Do you want to get out of here, and go and [[do some nice activities->8A]]. Or you could use your position to try to [[help your co-workers->6.1E]] (and yourself)? Or maybe it’s time to go and [[try to find your body->the guest area]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Do you want to [[keep pretending to be Terry->33]], and go see the psychiatrist? Or you could use your position to try to [[help your co-workers->6.1E]] (and yourself)? Or maybe it’s time to go and [[try to find your body->the guest area]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Do you want to [[keep pretending to be Terry->33]], and go see the psychiatrist? Do you want to get out of here, and go and [[do some nice activities->8A]]. Or you could use your position to try to [[help your co-workers->6.1E]] (and yourself)? Or maybe it’s time to go and [[try to find your body->the guest area]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You’re still committed to pretending to be Terry, so you leave your office and walk in the direction of the hotel room Dr Singh is using for the day. You knock on the door. A muffled voice tells you to come in. You enter the room. Dr Singh is sitting on a chair which is angled to face the bed. You perch yourself on the edge of the bed, and say hi. They smile at you, and look directly into your eyeballs. They don’t say anything. You sit there, trying to think of what to say to fill the silence. You are aware that this is a therapy technique they are using but you can’t help yourself. You start to ramble about the weather, a tv show you’ve been watching, how work has been stressful lately. They interject - "Dig in on that - has anything precipitated the additional stress you are feeling? Any event, any new changes?" They have a very mellow, calming voice. You vaguely explain that money has been a problem, and that today you really feel like you’re having an identity crisis. They ask - "These feelings of flux, of shifting identity, how does that make you feel?" You awkwardly laugh, and say that you feel anxious, uncertain, that some things feel easier, but overall you just feel untethered. They jot some notes in their notebook. "Have you come to any new revelations, since you began feeling this way?" You try and think of something to say to appease them. You stutter your way through some nonsense about perspective. They write some more things down. "That’s the end of our session. I’ll see you on Thursday, same time You nod, say thanks, and [[exit the room->36]].

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You head to staff parking. Terry has a reserved bay, so it’s easy to find his vehicle. You unlock it and hop in. You put on some Le Tigre, don Terry’s sunnies, open the sunroof, and screech out of the car park. The shrimpy is in your rearview mirror, time autonomy is in your pocket, and the city is your oyster. Would you like to go for a bit of [[pampering->pamp 2]]? A small [[shopping spree->ss2]]? Or visit an [[animal shelter->as2]] and pat all the animals?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You dream that you are in the body of a shrimp adrift in the warm water of the Indian Ocean. The current is gentle, and you feel at peace. Bright green and pink seaweed grows from the rocky outcrop you are situated in. The sun is warm and bright, as it breaks through the surface of the water. A school of shiny silver fish swim by. You wonder what type of fish they are. You are safe. You nibble on some algae. It’s delicious / You [[are awoken->awk]] by the masseuse aggressively jabbing you calves.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You head to a rescue on the outskirts of town. You’ve seen them advertised on instagram - part of their business model is letting kids pat farm animals. It’s a glorious day. The sun is shining. You buy a strawberry ice cream that they make in house. You meet a goose named Gilbert and a chicken named Brussel Sprout. There are twin cats who are both named Wilbur. You spend a long time playing frisbee with a horse. You wish you could live on a hobby farm with a collection of odd pets. You buy a calendar with photos of all the animals in it, and leave a generous donation. Thank you Terry. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->ss2]]? Get [[a massage->pamp 2]]? Or go [[back to the hotel->XXX]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You drive to the fashion district and buy yourself three pairs of Louis Vuittons. The sales lady tries to crack a joke - "You must be in trouble!" You grin sheepishly at her as you tap Terry’s card. Back in the car you slip a pair of the heels onto your feet. They don’t fit Terry properly, however they will fit your feet. Not that you have anywhere to wear them. But damn, the extravagance feels good. You day dream about being the kind of person who would wear these shoes. The parties they would go to, the clothes they would wear, the people they would know. Then you realise the type of person who would wear these shoes is part of the demographic of people you serve at the hotel. And to be honest, they’re snobby and they don’t look like they know how to have fun. Do you want to go [[get pampered->pamp 2]]? Or visit the [[animal shelter->as2]]? Or go [[back to the hotel->XXX]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You contemplate staying at the spa indefinitely. Though at some point Terry’s money might run out, or you might have to deal with the whole body-swap situation. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->ss2]]? Go get a [[haircut->hair]]? Visit the [[animal rescue->as2]]? Or head [[back to the hotel->XXX]].

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/hair.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="An older man is sitting in a chair at the hairdresser looking in the mirror. There are identical twin hairdressers standing on either side of him. They are both dressed in black shirts with white collars, with fishnets on their arms. Their hair is up in a pony tail, and they are wearing big red hoop earrings. One of them pours the man tea."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= You drive to Les Cheveux, an upmarket hairdresser that you follow on instagram that specialises in alternative hairstyles for the rebellious children of the wealthy. The haircuts are genuinely excellent though. The boutique is run by Goth identical twins. They look at you oddly when you enter the shop. When you ask if you can get a haircut, they shrug and say in unison, "We’ve had a cancellation." As you sit in the chair and look at yourself in the mirror, you realise that this was a silly idea. You had been wanting to try this salon, however, Terry doesn't have a lot of hair left. The twins set to work. One of them starts to quiz you, "What do you do for work, what’s your favourite hobby, are you married?" You answer the questions as best you can. She says, "I’m getting very conflicting energy - what’s your star sign? No let me guess - are you a Gemini?" They finish the haircut. It’s a similar style, just neater, more refined. They show you how to gel it up in a Keith Flint inspired look - "If you’re ever feeling spicy." Then their eyes roll back in their heads and they start to speak in unison - "When Saturn rises on the horizon, when the moon fades into day, two bodies, two souls, two ways of thinking, doing, feeling, will forever intertwine. Immutably bound till the earth remakes itself. Look to the stars, they will guide you. Look in your heart, it will ground you. Look to the new leaders, look to the new future, forge forwards." You ask them what it means. They look at you and ask, "What does what mean?" You say the riddle you just told me. They seem puzzled. You pay them and exit the shop, they wave goodbye. What do you want to do next? Go [[shopping->ss2]]? Visit the [[animal rescue->as2]]? Or head [[back to the hotel->XXX]]. |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You’re tired. You’re sick of playing these games. You still have no clue what’s going on. You’re feeling unhinged. You want to let loose on this fucking place, to use your powers for evil. You decide to put Terry’s credit card to good use. What do you want to start with - [[hiring a skywriter?]] Or causing [[a plague.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= After a quick internet search, you find a guy who has a hanger on the outskirts of town. You talk to a guy called Joe, who is the pilot and business owner at Sky Scrawl, and is very enthusiastic about the idea of drawing dicks in the sky above the hotel in white smoke. You wan to [[buy the bugs->a plague.]] too.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You call a local pet store, and ask the shop owner about the frozen insects they feed their lizards. They recommend an online shop called Livefoods Unlimited. You go to their website and place an order for enough frozen wētā to cause a disruption of biblical proportions. Apparently they have evolved to be able to freeze and then re-animate. You’ll have to tell Janie that fun fact. You pay extra for same day shipping. [[You sit on the floor of your office.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You’re tired. You don’t feel like you’re any closer to figuring out why you body swapped with Terry and how the fuck to swap back. You’ve got a lot of loose threads that aren’t quite lining up. You’ll go to the basement storerooms in a moment. Try to find your body. Make a plan. You wish you were back at the dining room with no thoughts except the perfect placement of your butter knives. [[SWAP]]

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/storeroom.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="A woman (Jessie’s body) with brown hair pulled back in a pony tail, stands in a linen store room. They are wearing a server uniform which includes a red waistcoat and black tie. There are stacks of white folded tablecloths on metal shelves, They are blinking in surprise."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= Good morning. It appears you have woken up in the body of Jessie Jones, a Food and Beverage Attendant at the hotel you are the General Manager of. The last thing you remember is indulging with a shrimp cocktail and dry martini at the end of a particularly trying day. You had felt nauseous, so you had rung the seafood distributor to scold them about supplying the hotel with sub-par shrimp. And now here you are, trapped in the body of a service worker, who also happens to be one of your employees. [[Time to rise and grind.]] |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You are in a store room, in the back of house area of the hotel. This one is dedicated to linens, and it seems that you have spent the night passed out in a dirty pile of tea towels. And your stomach is cramping. Phenomenal. Before you can begin to comprehend the predicament you have found yourself in, and find someone to yell at until the problem gets resolved, the door to the store room opens and [[a woman enters.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= She flicks on the fluorescent store room lighting, startling when she sees you - "Jessie? What are you doing in here, your shift started ten minutes ago, you need to get to the - why are you - are you okay? Well - you better go put a new uniform on, then go grab a yoghurt and go help Rosa with coffee, okay?" You start to protest, but catch yourself - doing what she says is likely the best course of action while you develop a plan. Her name badge says her name is Katie. You have a hazy recollection of her, you think she’s one of the casual Food and Beverage Captains. As you leave the room, you hear her exclaim, "Why the fuck are there only thirty clean table clothes in here, there’s supposed to be three hundred?! I will gut someone with my /" [[You exit.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You do as she says, and are mid way through a quite average strawberry yoghurt when you enter the coffee room. There is a woman, who you assume is Rosa, methodically placing collections of coffee additives on a series of metal trolleys. Rosa looks to be in her sixties, and smiles at you as you walk into the room. "Bella, how are you this morning, come to join me in coffee land? Come on, then. I’ve looked up our horoscopes for today on that app you showed me - not that I believe that superstitious nonsense, I’m a good catholic woman. However, mine did say that my moon would bring me good luck and prosperity so I don’t mind that. Yours though, not so good I’m afraid, said you were in for a lot of conflict this week, something's rising somewhere." You give Rosa a tight smile and suggest that you get on with making the coffee. Rosa looks at you with a funny look on her face and mutters, "I see that planets do not lie." The trouble with getting on with it, is that you don’t actually know how to make coffee. Not that it can be that hard. You know you’ve got to put the coffee in the urns. Rosa interjects - "Come on bella, what are you doing, you need to pre-heat the urn with hot water, we did this yesterday, hey?" You feel frustration starting to rise up inside of you. This woman is talking down to you. She continues - "Here, you put the milk and cups on the trolleys, let me handle the urns. What’s up with you today, hey, you okay? Anything you want to chat about with Aunty Rosa?" You take some deep breaths and mumble an excuse about not sleeping that well lately. You’ve got to remember that you're in Jessie’s body. You are the bug that gets stepped on by the boot. Rosa responds, "Okay well you get those trolleys good okay?" You work together in silence. The task would be almost meditative, if not for the fact that your mind is churning with the possible causation and ramifications of the body swap. Surely this is temporary. Surely this is just some sick joke, a dream that you can wake up from - Rosa interrupts your speculation - "Hey bella, this trolley’s ready to go, take it out to the breakfast hall, hey?" You nod and comply. You take the trolley and [[exit the room.->exit the room2]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You take your trolley to the breakfast hall. You place it beside a table laden with breakfast foods. As you go to leave, a lady, who you assume is one of the supervisors, starts yelling at you - "Jessie! Don’t put the coffee there - are you thick? That’s not where the coffee goes. You know that. Do I have to do everything myself?" Who is this despicable woman? She continues - "Let’s get one thing straight - I don’t respect you, I don’t care about you, I’m not here to hold your hand. Get out of my sight. Go polish glasses with Neil. God I work with imbeciles -" You feel rage bubbling up inside you at the disrespect. How dare she speak to you like that. You can't wait for this body-swap nonsense to be over so you can fire her. Do you go to the [[glassware storeroom?]] Or do you [[storm out]] of the hotel.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You enter the glassware store. There’s a man, Neil, already in the store, polishing wine glasses. You nod at him and he greets you - "Good morning Jessie. Here to help me with the polishing?" You nod. You watch what he’s doing for a moment. He hands you a wipe, and says, "Well, they’re not going to polish themselves. Come on, chop chop, we’ve got two thousand wine glasses to polish today." You sigh, clearly Jessie is not a well respected team member, if this is how everyone treats her. You look around the room. There’s a lot of fucking wine glasses. This is a colossal waste of your time. You start polishing, and Neil starts monologuing at you - "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning did you? You’re a lot prettier when you smile, when you're not being such a grumpy bum. Come on, you got to go faster than that, no room for slackers. That reminds me, when I was in the police force, we had one Captain, he used to keep you behind for ten minutes for every one minute you were late. And let me tell you, we were never late. We never had a collar out of line, otherwise you were on desk duty for a week. We never talked back to the Captain, that would earn you night shift for a month. That’s the problem with your generation Jessie. Not used to consequences. Not used to hard work." [[You tune him out.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You polish two hundred wine glasses. Neil regals you with stories of police heroism, and life lessons from the force... While you agree that the younger generation lack a certain work ethic, getting talked down to by this man is infuriating. Whenever you speak he just continues and talks right over the top of you. You need a break from this man and the wine glasses. You make an excuse about needing the bathroom. As you are leaving, Neil starts again - "A bathroom break! Talk about a luxury! When I was /" [[You shut the door.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You’re walking down the hallway towards the bathroom, when someone calls out to you. You turn to see a skinny young man hurrying towards you. He calls out - "Hey lil mama, how you doin? Where you coming from?" You suppress a laugh. This boy must be eighteen? Nineteen? He has acne and a suggestion of a moustache. You tell him you’ve been polishing wine glasses. "Oof, with Neil? That sucks. Any new coppa stories?" Yeah, you say, he told me about busting a lady cooking meth out of a sail boat. He laughs - "He never busted nothin - you know, highest rank he got to? Constable. Got kicked out with a bung knee or somethin - he’s got all these fuckin fancy pants tales - he never done none of it." You think about what a pathetic, small man Neil is. You suppose he needs to construct this false identity to distract from the fact that he is a sixty year old man in an entry level position. He starts off down the hall again - "See you later Jessie! Hit me up! My crypto's goin off - gonna be rich, just you wait, the ladies gonna be lining up /" [[You enter the bathroom.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You look around. Women’s bathrooms are noticeably nicer than men’s. You splash water on your face, and look at your young, thirty something self in the mirror. Thirty is youthful when you're in your sixties. You’ve wasted your life if you're a Food and Beverage Attendant in your thirties though. Jessie mustn't have any ambition. You sit down to relieve yourself. There is blood in your underpants. For a moment you think you must have bladder cancer, but then you remember. You’re a woman. Or at least, in a woman’s body. Fucking phenomenal. No wonder you’ve been having cramps all day. Shit. You thought that was from the food poisoning. You are going to need a tampon and some strong painkillers. You clean up as best you can and put a wad of toilet paper in your underpants as a [[temporary measure.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You start to consider what curse may have been placed upon you when another staff member enters the bathroom. She is wearing a chef’s uniform and looks like she’s been crying. Do you [[ask them how they are]]? Or do you [[leave the bathroom]]?

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You take a deep breath and try to remember your conflict resolution training. You say hello, and ask her how she feels? The woman looks at you like you’ve said something odd. Then she bursts into tears. "Jessie, hey, how are you, sorry, I’m such a mess, I just - I- I think I’m going to lose my job. Uh, so I thought the hotel was going to fix my visa for me, but now, I don’t know, they’re saying that the rules have changed or something? And, like they can’t sponsor me anymore? And I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’ll get deported, I don’t know, I don’t know if I have any other choices /" You awkwardly pat her on the shoulder. Unfortunately you know exactly what she’s talking about. The changing visa legislation for hospitality workers has put a few staff members in similar situations. You tell her that you're sure that it will all turn out okay. You’re lying. You know they’re going to be let go. You ask her if you can borrow a tampon. "Yeah, yeah, of course, i’ll be right back, just need to get one from bag -" She looks back as she exits - "Jessie? Thank you. I’m sorry, I just - thank you." You feel something in your stomach - perhaps guilt? Or maybe just period pain. She’s back in two minutes, with a tampon. You sort yourself out, leave the bathroom, and walk back to the[[glassware storeroom.->leave the bathroom]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You polish a hundred more glasses. This is such menial labour. You decide to go get some more of that [[terrible yoghurt.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= On the way, you walk past the kitchen. One of the chefs yells out to you, and comes out to the pass to talk to you. You think their name is Rohan. "How’s the lovely Jessie today? How is the luxurious Food and Beverage Attendant life treating you?" You give him a sideways look and he laughs. You tell him you’ve polished hundreds of wine glasses and been called an imbecile. "That good huh? Yeah I hear Anisa’s really out for blood today. I do feel bad for her though." You give him another look. "Okay she’s still an asshole, she should still go to the same circle of hell reserved for customers who want their steak well done - i just - I don’t think she really has anything going on in her life, and - hard to be a middle aged woman. Hard to be an immigrant. She’s just kind of sad, you know?" You nod. You suppose it is. "Do you have a moment? Are you ready to try some more of my cursed fusion canapé?" He hands you a plate, with a bao bun, and a little salad cup. He introduces the dishes - "Here we have a Lobster Mac and Cheese Bao Bun, the lobster fresh from our new seafood suppliers, they are really pushing that at the moment. And a Chicken Caesar Salad Tortilla Cup." You try the canapés. You haven’t eaten anything all day. You tell Rohan that they’re delicious, and that they should consider it for the menu. He replies, "You watch, they love this shit. They eat it up. New canapé menu coming at you." Rohan looks at his watch - "It’s two o’clock - can you take a cola to Vinnie?" He slides you a can of coke. You nod. You're not sure who Vinnie is. You turn to go back to the hallway, when Rohan yells - "Where are you going? Dish pit’s that way!" You nod and [[take the cola]] in the direction that he is pointing.

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/dance.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="Jessie’s body stands and watches Vince with a smile on her face. Vinnie is an elderly Vietnamese man, and he is dancing while holding his coke."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= You see an elderly man washing dishes. He gives you a small smile, and nods in greeting. You hand him the coke, and a massive smile breaks out across his face. He thanks you profusely, and starts to sing the chorus of Eagle Rock. He dances around in a circle doing complicated movements with his feet. You can’t help but smile. [[You leave him to it.]] |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You move on to [[polishing forks.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Katie comes to find you. "Jessie! What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be doing glasses?" Yes, you say, then you moved on to forks. "Who told you to do that? Jessie, just do the task we tell you to do. It’s not that complicated." You’re getting sick of people treating you like a child. Katie continues - "Well, follow me, we could do with an extra hand setting up the dining room for the function tonight." You follow her into [[the dining room.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= There is a whole operation going on in the dining room. Katie pairs you up with a woman called Joan. You are tasked with laying out all the butter knives. You try to follow along. Joan keeps tutting at you. Your knees are starting to ache from standing up all day. You pause to stretch out your legs. Joan speaks to you for the first time. "Sketchers. You should get sketchers. They are the most comfortable shoe the dress code allows." You thank her for the suggestion. Once the knives are done and Katie isn’t looking, you surreptitiously [[exit the dining room.]]

=||||= <video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/dock.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="Rosa, Jimmy, and Jessie’s body are at the loading dock. Rosa is an older Italian woman - she stands smoking a cigarette. Jimmy sits, eating a small tub of yoghurt. Jessie’s body sits on a milk crate. They all wear server uniforms with red waistcoats."> </video> =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[= You’re tired. Your knees hurt. You don't know when your shift ends. You wander out to the loading dock for some fresh air. Rosa and the young man you ran into in the hallway are there. The seafood distributor's truck is parked in the dock. Rosa is smoking a cigarette, and the young man is eating a yoghurt. You overhear him saying - "It's okay, ya know? I just worry - she’s old man, anythin could be wrong with her. Everythin could be wrong with her." Rosa replies - "I don’t like it Jimmy, this is not right. You live here, you pay taxes, you should be able to go to the doctor /" They see you, and welcome you over. The boy, who must be called Jimmy, smiles weakly at you - "Hey lil mama, hope your day’s goin better than mine." You shrug. If only they knew. Rosa continues - "One of my god-son’s is a doctor, let me talk to him - see what Aunty Rosa can do. And tomorrow - I’m bringing Tiramisu, secret recipe, passed down from my great-grandmother, god bless her soul." Jimmy smiles his thanks. He changes the subject, asking - "By the way, Jessie, have you seen Aunty Rosa’s paintings?" You shake your head. Rosa pulls out her phone and shows you some landscapes and still lifes from the acrylic course she just finished. They’re incredibly good. Rosa puts her phone back in her pocket and says - "Come now. I have finished my cigarette. We better go [[back inside.]]" |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= As you walk back to the dining room, you run into Katie, again. She’s always manages to be in the worst possible spot. "Jessie! What are you doing? What is with you today?" She pauses briefly before continuing - "I think we better call it there for today. Clock out. You're done. Look - I don’t know what’s going on with you - we all have bad days, we all have stuff going on outside this place. Just come back tomorrow ready to work, okay?" [[She leaves you in the hallway.]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You’ve made it to the end of your shift. Thank fuck. But what should you do now? For the first time today you have to make a decision. Maybe you should call your wife. But what would you even tell her? Maybe you should [[go find your body]], see if that’s where Jessie ended up. Hopefully she hasn’t caused too much chaos.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= This work is reccomended for 16+ audiences. Content warnings: Frequent coarse language. References to sex acts - (not described in explicit detail). References to violence - (not described in graphic detail).

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You walk down the hallway. Your knees hurt from standing up all day. At least you didn’t get Jessie fired. You wonder if you could commission Rosa to do a painting for the hotel. You hope Jimmy’s grandmother gets better. You wish you were in your office eating a shrimp cocktail. [[SWAP->swap1]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You drive to the ocean. You walk into the water, still wearing your uniform. You float on your back and look at the sky. You wish you could drift away. For the first time today, you consider what it means to actually do this kind of work, what your labour is worth, what your service means. You wonder how much money Jessie has in her back account. You wonder who will mourn you when you’re gone. It’s getting late. Your skin is cold. The stars look nice tonight. [[You go back to the hotel.->backathotel]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You fantasise about being a shrimp, adrift in the ocean current. They have never thought a single thought about an overdue bill or shareholder value. They have never had to google ‘what to do when you’ve body swapped with your boss’. [[SWAP->swap2]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wonder if there’s a different visa you could support the staff with? It was infuriating to be treated with no respect. And you didn’t even begin to figure out what’s going on with the body swap, or process it, or find out how to reverse it, or deal with it in any way. [[SWAP->swap3]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Imagine though, having the time autonomy to go get your hair cut during the day. [[SWAP->swap4]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You do have to admit it was nice getting to know the staff on the floor. [[SWAP->swap5]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Or imagine having an occupation where your literal job is to spin stories to get people to invest their money. [[SWAP->swap6]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wonder where Vinnie learned to dance. [[SWAP->swap7]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Or thinking that selling Caramello Koalas is going to change the world. [[SWAP->swap8]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Even in the body of a thirty year old you feel exhausted. [[SWAP->swap9]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= It doesn’t seem like Terry actually has that much more than you besides a longer timeline before homelessness. [[SWAP->swap10]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wonder how much it would cost the hotel to pay everyone a liveable wage. [[SWAP->swap10.1]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You hope your Mum likes the hot tub. [[SWAP->swap12]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You are a leaf being buffeted by the wind. [[SWAP->swap13]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You would really like to go home now. [[SWAP->swap14]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You wouldn’t mind eating another one of those Chicken Caesar Salad Tortilla Cups. [[SWAP->swap15]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Oh to be a horse playing frisbee. [[SWAP->swap16]]

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ You are in the basement level of the hotel heading towards the kitchen. You start to run, and as you turn the corner you bump into - Terry ? Holy shit. Your body looks at you with a startled look on its face. This is surreal. You ask, are you Terry? Your body nods, tears starting to well. You reach out and wrap your arms around them. You whisper, trying to reassure Terry. You start to ramble, all your thoughts and feelings, confusion and frustration, coming to the surface. ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ You walk slowly down the hallway of the hotel. You don’t have a plan. You just walk mindlessly in the direction of your office. As you turn the corner you collide with - Jessie? It’s your body, standing there, looking at you. Emotions start to well up inside you. They reach out to you, and wrap you in their arms. Jessie speaks softly to you - "Hey, hey, it’s okay. Do you.. do you have any idea what’s going on? It is - you are - Terry, right?" You nod. "What the fuck is going on Terry, how the fuck am I in your… is this hotel a front… I think I’m being followed… who is that guy who hangs out by the water cooler… why… how… how is this even possible?" [[NEXT]] ] |==|

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ Terry starts to reply, "I just finished my shift. I haven’t even talked to my wife. Katie kept appearing out of nowhere /" [[NEXT->next1]] ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ You try to explain what you’ve been doing all day. Jessie interrupts - "What the fuck is going on?" ] |==|

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ Terry looks at you for a moment, before replying, "I don’t know… I don’t know exactly… I know the company that owns this hotel has started using the sub basement level for their own operations… I know that they’re re-contracting their entire labor force, not just this hotel, all of their businesses… I know they’re starting to roll out new policies, new procedures… that they’ve been buying out our suppliers… that they’re investing heavily in digital marketplaces… I just don’t know what any of that has to do with…this… " [[NEXT->next2]] ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ You start to tell Jessie about all the little things that you have noticed happening at the hotel. Things that have concerned you, but haven't amounted to anything. ] |==|

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ Suddenly it occurs to you that maybe Mr Mitchell is here for a reason. Terry replies, “Yes, we had a meeting yesterday, he was telling me about this new training program he was trialing, he seemed really excited about it.” [[NEXT->next3]] ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ Jessie replies - “Mr Mitchell is here. In the hotel. I saw him earlier. With the marketing lady.” You reply, saying that you had a meeting with him yesterday. ] |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Jessie: We’ve got to go confront him. He has to know something. Terry: What do you want to do, just go up to him and ask him, good afternoon Mr Mitchell, any chance you know anything about why we’ve body swapped with each other / Jessie: Or that shrink lady. She for sure knows something. Terry: No. You'd never get anything out of Dr Singh. Jessie: Well any suggestions? Terry: This is your idea / Jessie: I ordered ten thousand of those chunky New Zealand cricket things to be delivered to the hotel using your credit card. Terry: You did what !? Jessie: Could maybe do something with that? //Terry sighs. // Terry: Let’s go look for him. He could be in the sub-basement. He’s got a temporary office down there. Jessie: Or he’s got a hotel room booked on the third floor / [[NEXT->next4]]

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ Terry leads you through the hallways, and to a stairwell. You’re nervous. You look at Terry, and ask if you just go in? Terry nods, and arms himself with your waiter's friend and lighter. You let out a small laugh. You start telling Terry to imagine Mr Mitchell naked, bent over ready to receive - Terry hisses - "Jessie!" At you, but he’s smiling. [[You enter.]] ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ You lead Jessie through the hotel, to a stairwell which accesses all floors. Jessie says, "Do we just go in?" You nod. You reach into your pockets and pull out Jessie's waiter's friend and lighter. Jessie laughs, and tells you - "Just remember to imagine him naked, bent over and /" You hiss at her to stop. It does alleviate the tension though. ] |==|

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You can’t find him. You explore the sub-basement, you trace your steps back to the third floor hotel room, you check in at reception to see if he has any other rooms booked. You get Janie to call his secretary, but she doesn’t know where he is, or at least isn’t telling you. You can’t find him. You can’t find him. [[NEXT->next5]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Your express shipment of frozen wētā arrives and is unloaded in the guest lobby. The reception staff start to argue about who signed off on this, who allowed the boxes to be unloaded. There are about forty medium sized cardboard boxes stacked up in front of the reception desk. As the staff try to figure out who the fuck ordered forty boxes of stock from Livefoods Unlimited, the wētā slowly start to defrost… and find their way outside of the boxes they arrived in. [[NEXT->next6]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= One wētā makes its way down an elderly guest’s blouse. One crawls across a man's moustache, and in his hurry to flick it off he disrupts his toupe. Anisa stomps on them, she reaches out to grab them mid leap, and crushes them with her bare hands. The wetas infest the cake display, which has been set up for a wedding reception later in the day. Janie is wailing and running around in circles. A guest’s corgi won’t stop barking at the strange six legged intruders. Jimmy finds a tennis racquet and starts belting them, pinging them around the room. [[NEXT->next7.5]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Ten thousand wētā descend on the hotel. [[NEXT->next8]]

=||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ And so, you re-build. You show Terry how to use the coffee machine, how to change a keg, how to create table symmetry. You learn about managing budgets, what a ‘kpi’ is, how to manage the needs of the hotel versus the needs of the larger group. Rohan invents a canapé using deep fried wētā. It is not popular. You slowly put the pieces back together. You don’t body swap back. You never find Mr Mitchell. You get stonewalled whenever you try to reach out to anyone from the hotel group. He, and any hope of explanation, have disappeared out of your grasp. So. You learn to live with the heartbreak and disconnect of living in someone else's body. You can’t sleep at night. You haven’t gone to see your mum in person yet. You talk on the phone, and you text a lot. You can tell she’s worried about you, but you can’t think of what you could possibly tell her or how to explain any of this. You and Terry start to remake the hotel together. You try to consult with the workers about improvements. You give them greater autonomy to go on break when they need to. The management class takes a pay cut and you give everyone else a pay rise. You stop blocking employees' requests to be permanent employees. You look into different visa options, now the hospitality visa requirements have changed. It’s not perfect, it’s so so far from perfect, but it is better, just ever so slightly better. On Monday you’re going to go play paintball with some of the kitchen staff. Rosa’s bringing chocolate cake for Jimmy’s birthday. You think you might adopt a pet cat. It is what it is. [[THE END]] ] =||||= (align:"<==>")+(box:"X")[ And so, you re-build. Jessie shows you how to make coffee, how to change a keg, how to set a table so everything has a sense of flow. You show Jessie how to manage a budget, and discover that they have completed two years of an accounting degree and are very good with numbers. Rohan continues to make his cursed fusion canapés. You slowly put the pieces back together. You never body swap back. No matter how many favours you call in, no matter how much you lean on people, you can’t get anyone to admit to knowing anything. You hire a private investigator. They never find anything of substance. You separate from your wife. She gets custody of your dog. You can feel the heartbreak and confusion emanating from her whenever you talk to her on the phone. She has stopped by the hotel a few times, but you have refused to see her. You and Jessie start to remake the hotel together. You work to make your employees feel valued. You work to give them job security. You work to give them the respect they deserve. You drink too much. You’ve started playing online poker. You’ve set up a table tennis table in one of the smaller function rooms, and started playing table tennis with Vinnie. It is what it is. ] |==|

<video loop autoplay> <source src="videos/lobby.mp4" type="video/mp4" alt="Weta climb out of carboard boxes in the hotel lobby. A guest is startled by them. Jessie and Terry stand and look at the chaos. Jimmy tries to hit the weta with a tennis raquet."> </video> You stand together and look at the [[chaos.->next7]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Thanks for playing along. This is a work in progress - leave some feedback <a href="https://form.jotform.com/252638439793876" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a> if you would like. The team is: Rhi Petersen - Concept and Writing Michelle Aitken - Concept Development Dan Grant - Illustration Follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rhi.p.art/?hl=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">instagram</a>. This project is supported by the City of Melville’s Community Grants Project. (Thank you!)

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= Surely this is a sick joke, a dream, and at any moment, you will wake up. [[SWAP->swap10.2]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= There is no viable alternative. [[SWAP->swap11]]

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You arrive at the hotel. You enter via the service enternace and walk down the hallway. You wonder if you could commission Rosa to do a painting for the hotel. You hope Jimmy’s grandmother gets better. You wish you were in your office eating a shrimp cocktail.

(align:"<==>")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")[= You could leave. You could let your emotions get the better of you and stomp out in a fit of rage. Jessie would get fired. She doesn’t have savings, so she wouldn’t be able to afford rent. She’d get kicked out of her apartment. All because you couldn’t stand being treated in the way that your employees get treated. You go to the [[glassware storeroom.->glassware storeroom?]]